9.3 KiB
[FF][RST] The Waves Arisen [Ch.10]
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Author: u/Wertifloke *
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URL: https://wertifloke.wordpress.com/2015/02/03/the-waves-arisen-chapter-10/
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Score: 27
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Created: 2015-02-04T01:02:15
Post:
Comments:
u/JackStargazer [+13] Primordial Apologist (2 hours later)
“Fuck that,” Omoi said, from his place at the side of the arena. “I’ve got to survive this motherfucker tryin’ to break my neck, just so I can fight one of those other motherfuckers, gonna crush me up or something, man. Fuck this genin shit. Shit’s dangerous. I yield.”
Judging by the rapidly escalating horror in this setting, I was actually quite surprised that this quote just made me break down laughing.
u/Transfuturist [+3] Carthago delenda est. (16 hours later)
I couldn't stop laughing for about five minutes. I think the precision profanity got to me.
u/okaycat [+12] (3 hours later)
That one cloud ninja (Omoi or something) who just conceded is probably the smartest person in this story.
I really like how you juxtapose widely different moods in the story. Some parts are really hilarious and some parts are really fucked up yet they all fit and I don't feel any dissonance.
Keep up the good work, can't wait to read more!
u/EliezerYudkowsky [+12] Godric Gryffindor (19 hours later)
This is excellent. I felt like every event and person was being seen with fresh eyes, unpredictable, with new observations being made.
u/kaukamieli [+4] (23 hours later)
I guess OP has made it now.
u/None [+9] (2 hours later)
I just wanted to applaud your remarkable release schedule. It's refreshing and admirable to see a rational story cranked out at this pace. Absolutely great.
u/Wertifloke [+11] (2 hours later)
Thanks, but I had a draft version ready before I started posting it online, so it's mostly just editing, now.
u/JanusTheDoorman [+8] (4 hours later)
Man, somehow knowing Lee is going to have to find out Gai isn't his dad hurts more than reading about him getting his arm destroyed. I dunno if you're taking deliberate inspiration from Gurren Lagann in writing his lines, but they're great nonetheless.
Also seems kind of weird that the crowd is looking on in horrified silence at Lee reacting to clone!Gai's proclamation when they were roaring with savage exhilaration at Neji being pulped. More values dissonance I suppose, but I'm not sure I'm understanding exactly what they're being horrified by here.
u/Transfuturist [+7] Carthago delenda est. (16 hours later)
I'm betting that Gai is actually his dad and he was trying to save face for the mother and her husband. It seems like the kind of change that Wertifloke would make.
u/Nevereatcars [+4] The Greatest Is Behind (4 hours later)
Lee is so eager and excited that it feels like kicking a puppy.
u/Nevereatcars [+7] The Greatest Is Behind (56 minutes later)
You've gotten your chapters tuned so that I have to stop and say "That's fucked up" exactly one time in each one. Poor Lee :(
u/scruiser [+3] CYOA (an hour later)
Only one time? Last chapter had both Neji's death and the values dissonance with the fact that they viewed cussing in front of children worse than deaths in front of children.
u/Nevereatcars [+3] The Greatest Is Behind (2 hours later)
I've seen the same concept both played straight and satirized enough times that I took it in stride. Values dissonance is a concept. Neji is a living person.
u/JackStargazer [+10] Primordial Apologist (2 hours later)
Neji is a living person.
Well, not anymore.
To be fair, it was self-defense. That it was very effective doesn't make it less justified.
u/kaukamieli [+2] (9 hours later)
Yes. It was the best chance she had to get rid of the threat he represented. And raise her status among her clan. And she still doesn't have to admit to doing that on purpose. She didn't see him yield and she could say she didn't know the shields could do that. I didn't.
u/derefr [+4] (14 hours later)
and raise her status among her clan
Somehow, I really doubt she did that. Rather, she lowered her (ex-)clan's status within the village, by first dissociating herself from them publicly, then insulting their style and avoiding using any of her in-clan advantages like the eye technique, and then demonstrating that their techniques are utterly dominated (at least in this situation) by easily-learned, not-too-costly, genin-level techniques.
She's aiming for getting on the village's good side against the Hyuuga, somewhat like Itachi. In fact, to be more specific, she is demonstrating that a "Hyuuga massacre" would not be an implausible feat, given that most of them don't bother to learn anything other than the Gentle Fist—and the implications this has for the Hyuuga's inter-clan bargaining position will do more to remove their influence from Konoha's politics than anything I've seen done in any other fic (e.g. assassinating Hiashi.)
u/Izeinwinter [+4] (15 hours later)
The problem with that is that the Hyuuga - as pointed out already - have all the dirt. And unless they are utter morons, will have some sort of dead-man switch set to spill it in the event of attack. Actually, no, it's worse - you can't organize an attack on their compound, because the entire village is inside their aegis, so organizing it would inevitably be spotted.
The only plausible reason they don't rule the village is that they don't care to. - Their info gathering abilities are insane.
I think what she is actually aiming for is to establish she won't come quietly, and that bringing her in against her will is likely to involve casualties. - Because she, in her own person, and her team as a group team is every bit as ambush proof as the Hyuuga compound. Especially because Naruto can in fact leave his eye on permanently. (And he should.) Uhm. If Naruto wants to strengthen his team... Would getting a tailed beast as an adult increase regen? ;)
u/kaukamieli [+1] (19 hours later)
Hyuuga - have all the dirt.
That could be a reason to just kill them all asap. :D And steal their eyes so you can get all the dirt yourself.
u/Nevereatcars [+1] The Greatest Is Behind (20 hours later)
The Hyuuga have all of the dirt. All of it. With their eyes, they are the spies. It's them.
u/Transfuturist [+1] Carthago delenda est. (16 hours later)
Well, not anymore.
Ooh, snap!
u/None [+1] (2 hours later)
Actually, he's a fictional character – so I'm not sure where that falls on the concept-living scale, buuut
u/Nevereatcars [+5] The Greatest Is Behind (4 hours later)
HE'S REAL TO ME OKAY? weeaboo.gif
u/scruiser [+4] CYOA (46 minutes later)
So I guess Orochimaru is taking a much more direct and practical strategy in this rational-fic? Or is it the butterfly divergences with him no longer needing to overtly show himself that resulted in the alternate strategy?
Also, I am still wondering what was going on with Hinata's lethality. Good things this fic updates so often. Guess we will find out soon... unless you kill Hinata off.
I laughed at Naruto's Lee I am your father. It was good thinking, Lee might have kept going until he was exsanguinated otherwise (interesting, reddit's spell check does not recognize exasanguinated).
u/eltegid [+4] (9 hours later)
On Orochimaru: it was pretty clear that the plan with Sand was called off because he had already gotten the seal on Sasuke, and that was the main objective. That is also probably why sound refused to participate in the exam.
On Hinata: She was fighting for her life, and Naruto's... The only question si whether she knew Neji was yielding, or if she could guess but chose not to know, etc.
u/4t0m [+2] Chaos Legion (19 minutes later)
before kicking off of to collide physically with her
Should be "off of it" or "off" or "off it".
u/Wertifloke [+1] (22 minutes later)
Thanks.
u/capsless [+2] despiser of hpmor (an hour later)
but even after thinking it himself
thinking of it?
s’just a fresh wound.
is this meant to be "flesh wound" or intentional?
A loud rumble grew up in the crowd before the adjudicator could begin their fight.
not strictly an error, but it's not really clear to whom "their" is refering (obvious with context, ofc, but i tripped on it). perhaps "begin the fight", instead.
u/Wertifloke [+1] (an hour later)
Clarified, thanks.
u/kaukamieli [+2] (9 hours later)
I was so interested in seeing Sasuke and Naruto fight that I couldn't predict the predictable.
u/Shadawn [+2] (a day later)
Brilliant chapter, but wasn't you stating that ninja utilize chakra jets for propulsion to do their impossible jumps and landings? If it's true, they should have no problem changing their trajectory mid-air.