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[RT][DC]Harry Potter and the Seventh Horcrux (complete)

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This is the funniest fanfic I've ever read, and it's finished, and it features some very clever bits of rational thinking. For example, Potter figured out a way to become immune to the imperious curse, and another method for beating love potions. He has a knack for accomplishing impossible goals by thinking outside the box. While the main character is insane and does some very silly things, he is insane in predictable ways, not just because being stupid is required to keep the plot moving, and the story has a great deal of internal consistency.

Comments:

u/Rangi42 [+19] (10 hours later)

This is brilliant.

"I came to a very important realization today," I said. "It doesn't matter what color the Great Hall is during the Leaving Feast, or who gets bragging rights for the next year. What matters is that I am the one who decides."

u/None [+11] (14 hours later)

Shit, this was fantastic. I finished it in one sitting, and now I want more Harrymort. Or aspiring-Dark-Lord Hermione (which the author makes a surprisingly good case for, using only canon plot pieces, too). Or Bellaginny. Or Rose Weasley (epilogue), or even Gilderoy Potter. Seriously. Just ... more.

On that note, insightful quote from the TVT page:

Voldemort is like the old person who doesn't understand computers at all, but knows that sometimes viruses cause them problems, so if something goes wrong with his computer he assumes it has a virus. Except the computers are people and the virus is love.

Inspired fic. Thanks for sharing, /u/INeedAUsernameToo!

u/Transfuturist [+1] Carthago delenda est. (13 days later)

I love aspiring-Dark-Lord Hermione.

u/None [+9] (18 hours later)

I can't make any progress on this. I keep having to stop every other sentence to regain composure.

Edit: I especially love the Alternate Character Interpretation of Lockhart. “I think we both know that there wont be any more Lockharts. He was the bravest man I ever knew.”

u/blazinghand [+8] Chaos Undivided (2 days later)

Part of what made that great is that, of course, Lockhart was still an incompetent buffoon. Harrymort just couldn't figure that out.

u/gabbalis [+8] (8 hours later)

From the third sentence:

Bellatrix crouched at my feet, sneaking glances and occasionally emitting dreamy sighs exactly the sort of behavior that caused me to turn myself into a nose-less snake.

I already know this is going to be good.

u/Zephyr1011 [+7] Potentially Unfriendly Aspiring Divinity (17 hours later)

While I am unsure if I would call this rational, that was a hilarious read

u/INeedAUsernameToo [+14] (19 hours later)

Yeah, I was debating back and forth about whether this fic could really be called rational. On the one hand, it has some really devious bits of munchkinry. On the other hand the main character is insane, which isn't rational at all.

In the end I posted it because while Harry isn't really rational, he looks at the world from a radically unique viewpoint. The fact that he imperioused himself means that he believes everything he says. His total inability to understand love or normal human interaction causes him to see things that everyone else misses. He exemplifies poor decisions well executed. He isn't really evil, so much as too clever for his own good while being totally lacking in empathy and foresight.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think that exploring unusual ways of thinking and viewing the world is useful and relevant to this subreddit, and this fic has a viewpoint I haven't seen in any other piece of fiction. It features unique and interesting thinking, so it belongs here.

And of course, it's really funny.

u/MadScientist14159 [+12] WIP: Sodium Hypochlorite (Rational Bleach) Eventually. Maybe. (2 days later)

total inability to understand love

Harrymort understands love perfectly: it sets things on fire.

u/ProfessorPhi [+6] (3 days later)

For anyone who wants an ebook version, here's mine: Seventh Horcrux.

u/Fredlage [+8] (19 hours later)

One of the funniest HP fanfics I've ever read. Up there with A Black Comedy and Oh God Not Again!

u/ArisKatsaris [+3] Sidebar Contender (2 days later)

Is there any way to extract an .epub or .mobi version of stories from the spacebattles forums? I like to read fics offline, and it seems that recently many people keep suggesting stories that are listed only in spacebattles forum.

u/CirrusGear [+1] (2 days later)

I agree. I've usually resorted to copy-and-pasting each post into Sigil (an epub generating program,) but that is both time consuming and opens up the work for infinite formatting errors. I would love a conversion option. (Not volunteering, of course. I have no programming expertise, but I would gladly cheer on and offer no real help to someone who can.)

u/ProfessorPhi [+2] (3 days later)

Not programmed, but here's my ebook version Seventh Horcrux. Many formatting errors abound, but ah well.

u/Althaine [+1] (3 days later)

I actually have a program working for The Last Angel and it shouldn't be too hard to adapt it. I'll send you an EPUB copy for Seventh Horcrux sometime within the next 24 hours.

There isn't going to be a simple way to do it in general - too much variation in how posts and chapter links are formatted. There's also the issue that the Spacebattles forum software doesn't use paragraphs

like any sane HTML should, but just breaks
(this matters if you want to switch between different indents and paragraph spacings). To fix that I'm using an algorithm I wrote years ago (to fix the same problem from FiMFiction) which I predict breaking at any moment.

I won't distribute the code as it would take a fair amount of maintenance to get working, but if there are any particular stories you want (e.g. a lot of the Worm fanfics) I can work on getting those as well.

u/Zephyr1011 [+1] Potentially Unfriendly Aspiring Divinity (3 days later)

Would you minding sending me that eBook copy of the last angel?

u/ArisKatsaris [+1] Sidebar Contender (3 days later)

Wow, thank you very much.

I don't feel comfortable asking you to spend time doing more just for my benefit -- and I wouldn't even know where's the best place for me to begin as I haven't began reading most of those exactly because I prefer reading them offline ("Techno Queen" perhaps?). But if you have anything already prepared among the Worm fanfics, sure, feel free to send them my way and I'll be sure to appreciate it. :-)

Thanks again.

u/blazinghand [+3] Chaos Undivided (2 days later)

I really enjoyed this fic. Although it wasn't rational, the author clearly put a lot of thought into it, and it was hilarious. I got lots of entertainment out of it. There were unique perspectives and I can say I'm glad this was posted. I will not downvote, even though I downvote off-topic non-rational fics I don't like. I'm horribly inconsistent this way.

u/TheLeo3314 [+2] (a day later)

Thanks for sharing. I'm only a few paragraphs in and I can already tell that I will enjoy it thoroughly. A few of the quips read sort of Douglas Adams-y, which is quite lovely.