scrape_r_rational/data/cache2/2u50jy.md

## Addiction to fiction

* Author: u/tomtan *
* URL: https://www.reddit.com/r/rational/comments/2u50jy/addiction_to_fiction/
* Score: 29

* Created: 2015-01-29T23:48:00

### Post:

Not sure if this is the best place to submit this but since I'm mostly hanging out here I thought it'd make more sense. Plus maybe other people share my experience here? 

Over time I'm starting to feel that I'm actually addicted to fiction. I've had a failure professionally with a company that I created that went under and I think I might be reading to escape all that, escape my feelings of having failed and escape my marriage that is not going well.

I'm a compulsive reader and whenever I start something I can almost never drop it. In the past year, I've read a bit over 40 novels, I've read every single stories linked on this subreddit... I've reread all of hpmor once (for the third time). I follow 36 webcomics via RSS... In short, I have a problem.

I just realized today that I've wasted most of my year doing nothing beside the minimum amount of work as a freelancer to keep money coming and reading or watching tv series. When I'm in the middle of a book I tend to see my life in a daze as if I were an external observer, a bit like The Stranger from Camus....

I wonder if anyone here had the same experience? The only time I ever read this much novels was when I was in middle school and was bullied and I guess, then too, it was in a way to escape reality. 

I'm going to try and stop, try to find a way to refocus all that time on something actually productive that teaches me something instead of passively consuming. 

Anyway, sorry for the rant.... I'm not even really sure why I published this. I guess I needed it out of my chest and the relative anonymity of doing it here makes it easier. I'm using a throwaway account, my normal reddit identity is under a username I use for everything including professional work

### Comments:

> **u/xamueljones** [+11]  *My arch-enemy is entropy* (16 minutes later)
> 
> I suggest when you sit down to read a book, write the title and current time down on a piece of paper. For every chapter you finish, write down the current time.
> 
> Noticing time every time you finish a chapter should make you more aware of time going by and create a slight feeling of unease telling you to stop and do something else.
> 
> If you are like me and have trouble remembering to stop yourself in between chapters long enough to write something down, set an alarm for every five minutes. It's important to write *something* down at regular intervals so you can sense time being wasted. Just looking at a clock is not enough, you need to do something to break immersion for more than a handful of seconds.
> 
> This should help you to spend less time reading when you sit down to read. It helped me when I had a similar problem with an addiction to books. I went from spending half the day reading to only a few hours. Of course it wasn't any sort of escape mechanism, just too much love for books.

>> **u/None** [+3]  (2 hours later)
>> 
>> If nothing else, it'll help quantify the amount of time spent on reading.

>> **u/nullmove** [+2]  (3 days later)
>> 
>> Glad that you managed a grip on it but as you said and I want to concede, such pragmatism might not be useful when accompanied by bouts of depression (escapism being merely a relieving mechanism). Sure my opportunity cost of time is way higher, I have many interesting projects to complete, arcane knowledge to muster, a world to optimize and so on but when I am down in that abyss I initially don't care about wasted time because I am such a wrecked failure anyway and then aggravate it by feeling bad about the whole thing. 
>> 
>> Reading through OP's predicaments I suspect he is going through one such depressed spell and so long as such condition persists I don't think this habit is the worst thing. I suppose he can try diverting this addiction to productive directions like interesting technical books, this typically either distracts me or successfully disgusts me away from reading :)

> **u/eaglejarl** [+7]  (5 hours later)
> 
> I have had exactly the same situation lately.
> 
> The past few years have been unpleasant for me as well -- I spent three of them as the co-founder / CTO of a startup; that was really bad.  I spent another year dealing with political issues as a line programmer at a consulting shop.  
> 
> Since I got out I've been consuming a lot of fiction, just like you.  There have been many occasions on which the words "I have other things I need to do, I should really stop reading this" have passed through my head...and then I just keep reading, for several more hours.
> 
> I haven't entirely dug out from under this but, as /u/FarmerBob1 says, the thing that is helping the most is creating.  As one example, I'm writing -- 2YE has been a great thing.  More importantly, however, I'm trying to create new memories:  I went on a roadtrip to visit old friends, I started learning the harp, I took some time to travel around Australia, and on February 18 I will be moving to Malaysia for a while...I haven't bought a return ticket but it will probably be measured in months, not years.
> 
> My suggestion would be to shake things up:  start exercising if you don't.  If you do, change the kind of exercises you do.  Produce some kind of art (learn an instrument, write something, paint...).  And if you can, definitely go travel.  Take your spouse with you -- maybe a change of setting will be good for the marriage.
> 
> Good luck.  I hope things improve for you.

>> **u/tomtan** [+2]  (15 hours later)
>> 
>> Thanks for the words of support. I actually moved to another country following my company closing. If we had stayed back where it happened, I'm sure we'd have divorced by now... But yes, part of the problem might also be that working at home is not helping me... I need to do things to shake things up.

>> **u/kaukamieli** [+1]  (20 hours later)
>> 
>> Yay for harp! Lessons or by yourself? What kind of harp? :)

>>> **u/eaglejarl** [+2]  (22 hours later)
>>> 
>>> [Christina Therapy Harp, from Triplett](http://triplettharps.com/christina.php)
>>> 
>>> I started off taking lessons but was then out of the country for several moths. Since getting back I've just been practicing on my own. I'm not terribly good, but I really enjoy it.

>> **u/what_deleted_said** [+1]  (4 months later)
>> 
>> So...How long did you end up staying in Malaysia?

>>> **u/eaglejarl** [+1]  (4 months later)
>>> 
>>> Landed in Malaysia on February 18, relocated to Thailand around April 25, came home June 1 with a ~24 hour layover in China.  I rented my apartment out before I left, and the rentor moved out April 20 or I'd still be in SEA; I spent a month-ish trying to find someone I trusted to rent the place, wasn't able to.  Now that I'm back in the States I can AirBnB the place.
>>> 
>>> Important takeaways for anyone who wants to do the same:
>>> 
>>> * You can drink the water in Malaysia and most people speak enough English that you can get by fairly easily.
>>> * You can*not* drink the water in Thailand and very few people speak English.
>>> * I had a very unpleasant time in China and do not want to ever go back, even for a layover if I can avoid it.

>>>> **u/what_deleted_said** [+1]  (4 months later)
>>>> 
>>>> What happened in China?

>>>>> **u/eaglejarl** [+1]  (4 months later)
>>>>> 
>>>>> I saw nothing attractive, basically no one spoke English at all, I got charged $60 for a $6 cab ride (I discovered later) and the socio-dynamics were disturbing. For example, this quote from a blog post I wrote elsewhere:
>>>>> 
>>>>> > The hotel was nice, but they advised me that dinner closed at 9pm and after that I could only get noodles and dumplings. Okay, no problem, it was only 7:30. I dropped my stuff off in my room, then went downstairs for dinner. I walked in and they told me that, no, dinner was over. I looked at my phone; it was 7:50. Oops, no, my phone hadn't had connectivity since landing so it was actually 8:50, as one of the staff showed me on her phone. Well, okay, but surely even in China 8:50pm is still not yet 9pm? No? It is? Oh, okay, well, then I guess dinner is over and I'll have some noodles. They had to think for a while before deciding that yes, it was okay for me to buy noodles even after dinner was over.
>>>>> 
>>>>> > Same thing happened at breakfast. I walked in, they said "oh no, your breakfast wasn't included in your room, you can't eat here."  To which I said "that's fine, I'll just pay for it like the desk said I could."  It required some discussion amongst themselves before they decided that yes, it was fine for the foreigner to do this bizarre thing of "exchanging *money* for food?! Like, actual bills on the spot instead of a prearranged permission? Madness!"
>>>>> 
>>>>> The plane was similar -- airplane mode isn't good enough, you actually need to power your phone completely off. And you can't turn on a phone or anything with a transmitter during the flight. And it's okay to use your laptop as long as you keep the wifi switched off. 
>>>>> 
>>>>> I'm sure there are many lovely people and beautiful sights in China. I feel no need to put up with the culture and huge language barrier (or force myself to learn a tonal language) when I could just see lovely people and beautiful sights anywhere else in the world.

>>>>>> **u/what_deleted_said** [+1]  (4 months later)
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> > but surely even in China 8:50pm is still not yet 9pm? No? It is? Oh, okay, well, then I guess dinner is over and I'll have some noodles. They had to think for a while before deciding that yes, it was okay for me to buy noodles even after dinner was over.
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> Well I mean I dunno how their kitchen works but if they've already started putting stuff away it sounds like coming in a restaurant 10 minutes before closing and asking for a seat, it's not really fair to the cooks.
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> >Same thing happened at breakfast. I walked in, they said "oh no, your breakfast wasn't included in your room, you can't eat here." To which I said "that's fine, I'll just pay for it like the desk said I could." It required some discussion amongst themselves before they decided that yes, it was fine for the foreigner to do this bizarre thing of "exchanging money for food?! Like, actual bills on the spot instead of a prearranged permission? Madness!"
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> Again, depending on how unnecessarily convoluted their bureaucratic procedures are they may need to go through extra steps to keep track of/process the cash. 
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> But yeah, fair enough, thanks for sharing.

>>>>>>> **u/eaglejarl** [+2]  (4 months later)
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> > Well I mean I dunno how their kitchen works but if they've already started putting stuff away it sounds like coming in a restaurant 10 minutes before closing and asking for a seat, it's not really fair to the cooks.
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> First, it was a buffet.  They simply took it down early.
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> Second, having a customer come in right before the bell is a hazard of the restaurant business -- if you're a cook, you signed up for it.  That's why some places do things like "we're open until 10pm, but we stop taking orders after 9:30"
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> Regardless, if the buffet has just shut down then the correct answer to "may I get some dinner?" is not "no, dinner is over."  The correct answer is "we just took down the buffet, but let me show you the a la carte menu."

> **u/narfanator** [+4]  (43 minutes later)
> 
> I experience this as well, maybe not as strongly, and I tend to think of it as an addiction to *narrative*, vs fiction, and it is worse the less has happened to me in a given day.
> 
> Note that there's some modern thinking that addiction is a surrogate bonding activity - instead of bonding with people, you bond with the thing. If you then try to actively bond with people, you can un-bond with the thing.
> 
> That said - First, maybe you just need a recharge! That happens. I refer to it as "incubating".
> 
> Second - I think a friend of mine bonded with the world, with tremendous success, as a way to un-bond with chemicals. Amazing things always happen to them, they find everything wondrous, and the never get bored of good things (aka, eat the same great meal over and over).

>> **u/Kishoto** [+3]  (4 hours later)
>> 
>> Very interested in your Second point. Any further details on how your friend bonded with the world?

>>> **u/ayrvin** [+1]  (23 hours later)
>>> 
>>> Sounds like 'mindfullness' might be something like the second point (google does search and find the thing I'm talking about)

>> **u/tomtan** [+1]  (21 hours later)
>> 
>> It's true that since I'm working from home, I don't really have that much contact with people and staying in my bubble is probably not very helpful.

> **u/Farmerbob1** [+4]  *Level 1 author* (2 hours later)
> 
> The only thing I've found that keeps me from doing with my free time exactly what you describe with your free time is creating.
> 
> I have an addiction to newness.  I cannot begin to count the number of MMO's I've played, or the books I've read.  The real world rarely interests me, though there are exceptions.
> 
> I have tried to start my own business, and failed, partly because it got old, and partly because starting your own business is *hard.*
> 
> Then I discovered serial webfiction.  Now, in my free time I create newness.  I do not consume newness.  It is an acceptable tradeoff for whatever part of my brain that controls my addiction to newness.  I still play a couple MMO's, but MMO's are not an addiction.  I don't have to play MMO's 10 hours a day, work 8, drive 2, and sleep 4, which was my typical pattern for about fifteen years.
> 
> If your writing skills are terrible, maybe try photography, or something else.  MAYBE try to shift your work towards generating newness a bit more, if that would be acceptable in your field.  Challenge yourself to find a way to create.

> **u/embrodski** [+3]  (15 hours later)
> 
> Yes. Not fiction right now, but always something. Best tactic I've found so far is to become addicted to something productive rather than destructive, and to vary addictions every few years if/when I can. Fiction isn't the worst thing to be addicted to, all things considered.
> 
> Relevant: [Learn to Read, But Don't Fall in Love](http://rainbowrowell.com/blog/2013/02/learn-to-read-kid-but-dont-fall-in-love/)

> **u/noggin-scratcher** [+3]  *I am a happy tree* (an hour later)
> 
> I think I'm familiar with something like that dissociative "dazed" feeling - if I've been on a lengthy reading binge I know I sometimes spend the immediate aftermath feeling strangely detached from reality, I guess still mentally having one foot in the fictional universe I've just spent a long while thinking about.
> 
> As escapist/addictive habits go, it does have the advantage of being cheap, and won't do terrible things to your health. I suspect the key thing is to try and improve the aspects of life that aren't going well (which, now I put it to words, seems over-obvious, but I guess it's a refocussing on where the real problem is)

> **u/Vebeltast** [+3]  *You should have expected the bayesian inquisition!* (4 hours later)
> 
> Yep, done that before. It's a reasonable symptom of depression; at least two of my friends have done it besides me. Escaping from reality is easy and effective when you know how to find good fiction.
> 
> That said, I don't know if I can offer any advice without knowing more about the underlying problem. I was burned out, and meeting my girlfriend and switching to a new project in a new research lab helped a lot. Someone else I think just went in to the university counseling center and they helped think through it all. Another person found a job that was much nicer all around and managed to reclaim three hours a day from commuting, which incidentally fixed his sleep schedule. The problem is different for everyone, so the solution is probably different too. So I don't think I can offer anything directly. Sorry. :/
> 
> That said, I hope you find something. Good luck. :)

>> **u/None** [+1]  (5 hours later)
>> 
>> [removed]

>>> **u/None** [+1]  (5 hours later)
>>> 
>>> [removed]

>>>> **u/None** [+1]  (8 hours later)
>>>> 
>>>> Since the OP is claiming to be addicted, you can start another thread instead of throwing temptations at him.

>>>>> **u/Vebeltast** [+1]  *You should have expected the bayesian inquisition!* (18 hours later)
>>>>> 
>>>>> Figured that, like any other addiction, making the stuff harder to get was pointless and I'd try to address the underlying issue while reducing the impact of (time taken up by) the symptoms. Sorry, spoilered.

>>> **u/None** [+1]  (8 hours later)
>>> 
>>> Since the OP is claiming to be addicted, you can start another thread instead of throwing temptations at him.

> **u/None** [+6]  (8 hours later)
> 
> THE-RA-PIST.  SEE A THERAPIST.  And a psychiatrist.  If you're in some shite country like the USA where you don't automatically have insurance for that, uhhh... does *someone* around here know Scott Alexander?  Because *he's* a psychiatrist.
> 
> >I'm going to try and stop, try to find a way to refocus all that time on something actually productive that teaches me something instead of passively consuming. 
> 
> That's nice, but I do think you need to figure out what's driving the addictive behavior and *address that problem*.

>> **u/tomtan** [+2]  (21 hours later)
>> 
>> Thanks. I know you're right but, while I agree it's not very rational, I have a hard time imagining myself taking that step... It would feel like a deep admission of failure on my part.

>>> **u/Farmerbob1** [+1]  *Level 1 author* (a day later)
>>> 
>>> None of us are fully rational.
>>> We all fail at some things.
>>> If you don't get help, or can't find a way to deal with it yourself, it's going to be REALLY painful when the house of cards comes tumbling down.
>>> But you know this.

>> **u/blazinghand** [+1]  *Chaos Undivided* (9 hours later)
>> 
>> He's still doing a residency in some cold city in between the coasts of the USA. There's a non-trivial chance he'll move to the SF Bay Area afterwards but where he moves shouldn't be a factor in your decision to get a brain tune-up.

>> **u/JackStargazer** [+1]  *Primordial Apologist* (15 hours later)
>> 
>> This really should be higher up. 
>> 
>> If you think you are addicted to something to the point that you are ignoring reality to your owns serious detriment, you need to have that checked out.
>> 
>> I had a similar reaction one time during early university life in which depression and escapism combined to rob me of an entire term, and the money I spent thereon. 
>> 
>> Talk to someone before it gets worse.

> **u/MoralRelativity** [+1]  (53 minutes later)
> 
> > ... refocus all that time on something actually productive that teaches me something ...
> 
> Your plight sounds too familiar to me. I've been tackling my problems over the last month through the course "Learning How to Learn: Powerful mental tools to help you master tough subjects" on coursera.org. Good luck.

> **u/E-o_o-3** [+1]  (3 hours later)
> 
> Information addiction. Often comorbid with depression, anxiety, and ADHD.

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