scrape_r_rational/data/cache2/4zisgi.md

## List of Fictional Drugs Banned By The FDA

* Author: u/traverseda  *With dread but cautious optimism**
* URL: http://slatestarcodex.com/2013/10/25/list-of-fictional-drugs-banned-by-the-fda/
* Score: 72

* Created: 2016-08-25T14:36:06

### Post:

[Link to content](http://slatestarcodex.com/2013/10/25/list-of-fictional-drugs-banned-by-the-fda/)

### Comments:

> **u/LiteralHeadCannon** [+24]  (3 hours later)
> 
> http://slatestarcodex.com/2013/12/02/more-fictional-drugs-banned-by-the-fda/
> 
> Don't forget the sequel!

>> **u/Arancaytar** [+2]  (12 hours later)
>> 
>> I like the bulimia cure that causes vomiting, and the skin-crawl cure that attracts ants.

> **u/diraniola** [+6]  (2 hours later)
> 
> My favorites are the cancer drug and the one that cures delusions.

>> **u/superk2001** [+8]  (2 hours later)
>> 
>> I also liked the one which was banned in a treaty with the intelligent bacteria. All of these were great, though.

> **u/Dwood15** [+8]  (4 hours later)
> 
> So the FDA also goes with scp foundation? I like it.

> **u/Revisional_Sin** [+5]  (19 hours later)
> 
> Surprised nobody else added any.
> 
> Here's mine. I've got more, but I'm trying out a new ergonomic keyboard and fuuuuuck is my typing slow. I feel like I'm typing with my nose. Sorry about the lazy naming.
> 
>  
> 
> **Happinol**
> 
> PROFILE:
> Highly effective anti-depressant, that enables a wide range of positive emotions in takers.
> 
> BANNED BECAUSE: Revealed to rewire the personality of the taker so that every event they experience triggers a positive emotion in them.
> 
>  
> 
> **Memerol**
> 
> PROFILE: Developed to return memories lost due to Alzheimer's and general brain damage.
> 
> BANNED BECAUSE: Slowly returns memories of every single life event, up to ~7th month of conception. It then begins to branch out, "returning" random memories of random people. Banned due to the confusion and distress this causes patients.
> 
>  
> 
> **Happinol-2**
> 
> PROFILE: Highly effective anti-depressant, that enables a wide range of positive emotions in takers, without any creepy wire-heading. Negative emotions are not blunted, appears to merely give mental resiliency and an strongly positive 
> 
> BANNED BECAUSE: Users become way too fucking cheerful. I mean... Jesus Christ. Yes it's a nice day. I'm just not a morning person. Can I just get some coffee. Please?

>> **u/Roxolan** [+9]  *Head of antimemetiWalmart senior assistant manager* (20 hours later)
>> 
>> **LERNERIDOL:**
>> 
>> PROFILE: Moderately effective antidepressant. Engenders the presumed safe delusion that the universe is fundamentally fair, with all bad things eventually compensated by equal amounts of good things.
>> 
>> BANNED BECAUSE: Highly publicized story of a patient flaying themselves alive in the hope that this would result in a date with a certain movie celebrity.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> **TEGNIFARIL:**
>> 
>> PROFILE: Hair growth pill. Early double-blind studies consistently measured a 3% increase in hair follicle number after each dose, with no sign of plateauing.
>> 
>> BANNED BECAUSE: Universal patient dissatisfaction. Patients claim to have experienced no change, and react with skepticism to any evidence to the contrary. Further study revealed that instead of promoting hair growth, the drug caused the patient to be swapped with a near-identical, hairier version of themselves from a parallel universe.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> **ACOPANIL:**
>> 
>> PROFILE: A psychoactive drug effective in the treatment of obsessive involuntary musical imagery, or "earworm".
>> 
>> BANNED BECAUSE: A harmful misalignment of incentives was uncovered during its advertising campaign.

>> **u/Chronophilia** [+1]  *sci-fi ≠ futurology* (2 days later)
>> 
>> **BENJABUTONE**
>> 
>> PROFILE: Skin rejuvenation treatment that removes wrinkles and liver spots.
>> 
>> BANNED BECAUSE: Causes the patient to physically get younger. Prolonged use eventually results in acne, reverse puberty, and death by negative aging.
>> 
>> **SAFFIOL**
>> 
>> PROFILE: Mild painkiller. Appears to operate by stimulating neurotransmitters which are associated with the placebo effect.
>> 
>> BANNED BECAUSE: Response to saffiol is downregulated by the actual placebo effect. For this reason, it is only effective on patients who do not believe it will work.

>>> **u/Evan_Th** [+2]  *Sunshine Regiment* (10 days later)
>>> 
>>> Late response... but does the FDA realize that they just banned *an actual cure for death*?
>>> 
>>> (Totally plausible, though - I can just hope there'll be some aging celebrities with the right media cred to get Benjabutone legalized again.)

>>>> **u/Chronophilia** [+3]  *sci-fi ≠ futurology* (10 days later)
>>>> 
>>>> It falls under their DO NOT MESS WITH TIME policy.

> **u/Sailor_Vulcan** [+7]  *Champion of Justice and Reason* (9 hours later)
> 
> Is this for real? As in, the FDA actually takes the time to write up legislation banning drugs that don't even exist? OMG!
> 
> Edit: I just did a quick google search and haven't found any evidence that the FDA bans fictional drugs. So I think what slatestarcodex meant to say was fictional (drugs banned by the FDA) and not (fictional drugs) banned by the FDA.
> 
> The brain tumor one was horrifying.

>> **u/SometimesATroll** [+13]  (11 hours later)
>> 
>> Are you kidding?  It would be downright irresponsible for the FDA *not* to have a plan in place for a species of sapient bacteria to arise 
>> and sign a treaty with humans.

>>> **u/PeridexisErrant** [+9]  *put aside fear for courage, and death for life* (11 hours later)
>>> 
>>> Don't be absurd - responsibility for such scenario planning clearly falls to the CDC, not the FDA.

>>>> **u/LiteralHeadCannon** [+3]  (20 hours later)
>>>> 
>>>> Department of Defense.

>> **u/None** [+3]  (a day later)
>> 
>> ... Why on earth would you assume that the FDA has banned fictional drugs?  Like why was this your first thought on seeing the list?  That makes no sense.

>>> **u/Roxolan** [+3]  *Head of antimemetiWalmart senior assistant manager* (a day later)
>>> 
>>> Well the CDC *did* publish [official recommendations in the event of a zombie attack](http://blogs.cdc.gov/publichealthmatters/2011/05/preparedness-101-zombie-apocalypse/). Even government organisations occasionally have a sense of humour, when it furthers their goals.

> **u/None** [+3]  (11 hours later)
> 
> Can I take some Luciperidone, please?  How much do I need to get the purported "*100%* of delusions" effect?

>> **u/Frommerman** [+3]  (14 hours later)
>> 
>> I don't think you want to know what facets of your life are delusions.

>>> **u/None** [+2]  (a day later)
>>> 
>>> Of course I do.

>>>> **u/Chosen_Pun** [+2]  *The Chosen Ones* (a day later)
>>>> 
>>>> Well, it sounds like you've just stumbled across the first of many.
>>>> 
>>>> Good luck.

>>>>> **u/None** [+2]  (a day later)
>>>>> 
>>>>> That's nice, Mr. Lovecraft.  Are you still scared of black people?

>>>>>> **u/Chosen_Pun** [+2]  *The Chosen Ones* (a day later)
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> See, this is what I'm talking about. H. P. Lovecraft died nearly 80 years ago, ya loon.
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> ...He said, with a great deal of trust in not only his own faculties, but the myriad information systems they perceive by proxy to generate this ostensibly true belief.

>>>>>>> **u/None** [+2]  (a day later)
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> > ...He said, with a great deal of trust in not only his own faculties, but the myriad information systems they perceive by proxy to generate this ostensibly true belief.
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> Yes, so wouldn't the veridicality and reliability of those very systems be of utmost importance to *check*?

>>>>>>>> **u/Chosen_Pun** [+1]  *The Chosen Ones* (a day later)
>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>> You'd think so, but for a lot of things (like dead author trivia) checking thoroughly mostly just undermines that whole 'trust' mechanism when it's actually a pretty efficient heuristic and an important element of your mental health besides.
>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>> Just keep it away from, you know, *people.*

> **u/Sailor_Vulcan** [+3]  *Champion of Justice and Reason* (a day later)
> 
> It was the title not the list that made me think that. Once I started to read the list I realized it probably wasn't real.
> 
> And I don't really know much about the FDA, but my mind might be too quick to jump to the assumption of "crazy people being crazy", since I've seen so many examples of crazy people being crazy. When I read a rationality blog like slate star codex, which often talks about crazy people being crazy, a part of my mind expects the blog to talk a lot about crazy people being crazy, so when I see a title like "Fictional Drugs Banned by the FDA," my first thought is something along the lines of "The FDA has some crazy people being crazy."
> 
> Another suboptimal heuristic I have (albeit nowhere near as habitual and common for me to use as that last one), is that power corrupts people, so if someone has a lot of power than there is a significant probability that they will abuse it. This heuristic is not as reliable as it first seems like it should be, and it might have also contributed to my initial impression of the title "Fictional Drugs banned by the FDA."

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