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[RT][WIP] Gobbos with Guns

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So, after receiving critique on my previous story, The Vasra Journals. I thought I might try something different (haha! No you didn't, you just read over the first four chapters and thought it needed a rewrite but you're too lazy to do a rewrite, so instead you wanted to make something new and avoid your masochistic wish fulfillment! Got you villain! /3rd person).

[So I decided to try something else and apply the criticism I received—Honestly, thanks for that guys](https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/20385/gobbos-with-guns/chapter/288148/fray-11)

So far there's only four chapters, and I love criticism, it's what I live for. (That and french toast)

May Papa Nurgle bless us with his holy contagion

Comments:

u/aldonius [+3] (5 hours later)

Intriguing! RSS-subscribed.

u/Trips-Over-Tail [+2] Death of Crabs (8 hours later)

I was expecting a Croc fic.

u/None [+2] (12 hours later)

Okay, I'll bite, what's a croc fic?

u/Trips-Over-Tail [+2] Death of Crabs (16 hours later)

A fanfic about Croc.

u/None [+1] (16 hours later)

hahahaha

u/zombieking26 [+2] (20 hours later)

I like it so far! Though I would recommend injecting some enpathy into your main character. I think a pure psychopathic character might get boring, sooner or later.

u/None [+2] (20 hours later)

;)

it's actually written in my notes

u/Sonderjye [+2] (a day later)

This is quite an interesting start. It makes a lot of sense that there'll be a total lack of compassion if he's been raised in a gobbo village. I second the suggestion for having him grow somewhat out of his upbringing somewhere down the line.
I also hope he gets to learn magic.

u/AllFuckingNamesGone [+1] (a day later)

Is it possible to reduce the space between paragraphs somehow, it's quite annoying to read like that.

u/None [+1] (a day later)

I write in double space so I can spot mistakes quickly and edit them out without misclicking around in Google Docs (cloud storage, safety first!)

So I just checked out some other chapters, and other peoples' works.

Yeah, it is kind of annoying, I'll make it doesn't happen in future chapters, and I got to figure out what exactly is causing it, because it seems to have happened in every chapter besides 1.3.