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Chapter 2- Draco Outpost Sufficiently Analyzed Magic [RST] [WIP]

  • Author: u/None *

  • URL:

  • Score: 10

  • Created: 2017-08-05T15:35:25

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u/Gigapode [+4] (12 hours later)

What is this please?

u/jldew [+1] (22 hours later)

This is a story about a semi-transhuman mankind that has reached to the stars using technomagery and applied phlebotonium. They might have had some alien interference along the way.

u/jldew [+1] (29 minutes later)

Typo thread :)

u/wren42 [+1] (2 days later)

“Unless Pax was a bust,”
“Twenty minutes,”

use period instead of comma. it's like this in many places where a quotation ends. use a comma only in cases that the sentence continues, such as ' "Ouch," she said. '

Some new mix of AI and Artificing she thought abomination.

break out "she thought" somehow, either commas, italics, or quotes.

starfighters

no apostrophe for plural.

These scans are worry.

tense.

closely cropped haird

typo

dossiers

plural, no '

She has been sent to the best schools. Had graduated the Academy of War

"had" or "has" pick one, not both.

unknown races battleship.

possessive should use '

drove a furrow into the prospective colonys ground.

This one's correct, actually. just wanted to call it out for being right ;)

u/jldew [+1] (2 days later)

Thanks. I'm on Mobile, but I will Fix Asap.